The Camping Trip
by Ski Hawk
Summary: Ratchet and Clank are bored of their boring lives, so they decide to go on a camping trip to get away for a while! First story, please review! COMPLETE changed rated T for some swearing and sex related talk.
1. Boring Lives And Preperation

OK this is my first story, and I write better when I use my own ideas, but let me just try this.

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Ratchet And Clank, or of any game of this series.

Chapter 1: Boring Lives And Preparation

Ratchet And Clank are sitting in their big house on Veldin, which they got from all the money they got for saving the galaxy. They had pinball machines, swimming pools, hottubs, pool tables, and hot chicks if they needed them, but this did not appease them. They were used to all of this stuff, so they were really bored. To add insult to injury, it was raining, which seemed to cap off the mood perfectly.

Ratchet: What happened to our exciting lives of adventure?

Clank: The galaxies are safe since they know they'll be blown up by us if they try to do anything.

Ratchet: That is true...(looks over at his weapon stash with pride.)

Ratchet: I've got it! Let's go on a camping trip!

Clank: Why?

Ratchet: We need to get away from all this high tech stuff. the gadgets, the weapons, the TVs, even the chicks.

Clanks: (sighs) I guess you're right. But how will we know what to bring?

Ratchet: I heard one of the best camping websites ever at the mall. It's hosted by Captain Quark!

Ratchet and Clank go to their ultra high-tech computer that takes approximately one nano-second to load. They type in the address, and are immediately taken to an introducton given by Captain Quark himself.

Captain Quark: So cadets! You've decided to go on a camping trip? Well, even I need to get away from my money, fame, and babes sometimes!

Ratchet: Please...

Captain Quark: On this site you can get complete lists of what you need, how to survive, and what to do when staring death on the face. (intro ends, and goes to a page with links to certain categories)

Ratchet clicks on supplies list.

It goes to a page which asks you if you want to go on an advanced or non-advanced camping trip. Ratchet clicks non-advanced.

The list says firewood, matches, lighter fluid, hot dogs, rifle, ammo, tent, blankets, pillows, marshmallows, graham crackers, sticks, hershey bars, and picture of Captain Quark.

Raatchet: Geez, Quark is trying to advertise himself. And why do we need that rifle?

Clank: I would assume for any animals that give us trouble. And what about the marshmallows, graham crackers, hershey bars, and sticks?

Ratchet: The food is for making smores, and the sticks are for putting it over the fire so you won't burn your hand. Your hand would probably melt.

Clank: No, I am made of solid titanium.

Ratchet And Clank get everything together in a backpack, but little does Clank know that Ratchet has snuck a few gadgets in the pack...

Clank: Well, we're ready. Let's go!

The two take their spaceship to the other side of Veldin, where the forests are abundant.

What kind of gadgets did Ratchet sneak in his backpack? Will there be room at the campsite? What will happen to these two? Find out next time in Chapter two: Campground Troubles!


	2. Campground Troubles

Chapter 2: Campground Troubles

Ratchet and Clank use their spaceship to get to the other side of Veldin. They could easily get there in one second due to its light-speed capabilities, but they decide to take a little time getting there so they can discuss things.

Clank: Did you tell your dear Sasha that you're going camping?

Ratchet: (blushes) No, but we haven't been doing anything lately, so I don't think she'll mind.

Clank: If you want to continue your relationship with her, you'll have to imclude her in your activities.

Ratchet: (sarcastically) Like she is now? Right, Clank, right.

Clank sighs, but doesn't say anything, because he knows it is pointless to argue with Ratchet.

Ratchet: Why do you care about my relationship with Sasha anyway?

Clank: Uh, I'm just thinking of others, just trying to hep out your life of love.

Ratchet: You've got the hots with her, don't you?

Clank: No! How could I fall in love with an organic life-form?

Ratchet: So now you're making fun of her?

Clank: No, I-

Ratchet: Let's just stop talking about this now, I came to relax, not argue.

Ratchet and Clank land their spaceship down in a field, and turn on the security on it. They gather their stuff, but Ratchet bumps a bag and one of the gadgets he snuck along beeps.

Clank: What was that?

Ratchet: I, uh, think your batteries are dieing.

Clank: Proposterous! You changed them a week ago.

Ratchet shakes his head, and they jeep on walking to the registration booth.

Ratchet: Hi, we're here to go camping.

Registration Guy: Wow! It's secret agent Clank! There's no need for you guys to pay, sir. I know Clank is here for a good cause.

Clank: Actually-

Ratchet elbows him, and he shuts up. They start to go to the campsite.

Registration Guy: Before you go, Clank, will you please sign my cap?

Ratchet sighs as Clank happily signs the hat. They finally get past the guy.

Ratchet: I thought we both saved the galaxy?

Clank: People appreciate good TV shows more than that.

Ratchet sighs yet again as they make their way to the campsite. It is in a good location, for it is in a cleared out area surrounded by trees.

Ratchet: We might as well set up the tent. So how do we do it?

Clank: What? I thought you knew? After all, you went to that awesome "website."

Ratchet: I thought you knew!

Clank: I only know what I am programmed to know.

They both sigh.

Ratchet: I'll go ask the Registration Guy.

Ratchet walks over to the booth again.

Registration Guy: Can I help you?

Ratchet: Um, could you tell us me how to set up tent?

Registration Guy: Why don't you ask Agent Clank? He knows everything.

Ratchet: Um, Agent Clank wasn't programmed with that information.

Registration Guy: Oh, I see.

The Registration Guy gives Ratchet instructions on how to set up a tent. Ratchet thanks him, and he heads back to the campsite.

Clank: Did he tell you?

Ratchet: Yeah, but he thought you would know how to. I told him you weren't programmed with the information.

Clank: I see.

Ratchet tries to set up tent, but it gives him a lot of trouble, abd it takes him two hours to do it. Then it starts to rain.

Ratchet: I guess it can't get any worse thatn this.

Will Ratchet and Clank relax like they had planned? WIll they have fun? What gadgets did ratche bring? Find out in the next chapter!


	3. Things Get Worse

I fixed some things you reviewers suggested in this chapter. Thanks guys!

Chapter 3: Things Get Worse

Like in all stories, things got worse. The rain turned heavier, and it turned into a huge raging storm. There was so much lightning that you could have had a book in the dark and you could still read it. In fact that's was Ratchet was doing right now.

Ratchet: I guess that's one good thing about this storm! I can finally finish this spaceship book.

Clank: ...

However, the wind had gotten so strong that is was threatening to blow his book away, and everything else for that matter.

Ratchet: It's a good thing we securely fastened that tent and put all of our stuff in it, huh clank?

Clank: I guess...

Ratchet and Clank decide to beat the rain by making a fire from their ultra-mega hot matches, which is so hot that it evaporated all the rain falling, making a bubble of waterproof air. The only drawback to this was Ratchet had to wear a suit of armor since the fire was so hot. He didn't give anything to Clank since he assumed he couldn't melt. They get out their sticks, graham crackers, hershey bars and marshmallows to make s'mores.

Ratchet: Isn't this great? Under the rain, making some decicious s'mores?

Clank: ...

Ratchet: Oh yeah, I forgot! You can't eat stuff. That's too bad. Well maybe you can read that spaceship book of mine. Only don't lose my place!

Clank sighs and grabs the book, considering he has nothing else to do. However, he sits too close to the fire and his hand and the book catch on fire.

Clank: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ratchet: MY BOOK! Hey, I thought you were made of titanium?

Clank: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ratchet: Run into the rain! Maybe it'll put out the fire!

Clank runs into the rain, but as you recall, the duo made the fire out of matches that were so hot, it evaporated rain close to it, and the fire on Clank's hand had the same effect.

Clank: AHHHHHH!

Ratchet: Hold on!

Ratchet runs to the tent to gran one of his gadgets that he snuck along. It was a mini fire extingisher. He runs to Clank and puts out the fire.

Clank: Thanks you, I really owe you- hey, I thought you said you weren't bringing any gadgets, that you wanted to get "away" from them.

Ratchet: Well, I-

Clank: How many gadgets did you bring?

Ratchet: Uh, a few.

They go into the tent to see how many gadgets Ratchet brought. There were tons of them, definetely more than a few.

Clank: A few, huh?

Ratchet: I knew i said I wanted to get away, but I guess I can't live without them, and it turns out you couldn't either, based on how it justed potentially saved your life!

Clank: (Sighs) I guess you're right. Thank you Ratchet.

Ratchet: You're welcome.

After this wild night, the two go to sleep. Or, I should say CLANK went to sleep. Once ratchet knew Clank was asleep, he used his gadget cell phone to made a secret phone call...

Who did Ratchet call? How are the gadgets important later? Find out later in the next chapter!


	4. The Visitor

Ok guys sorry to ask this, but is this getting better as I progress? I like opinions.

Chapter 4: The Visitor

Ratchet and Clank woke up very well rested and in a good mood the next morning.

Ratchet: So how long do you want to stay out here?

Clank: What do you mean?

Ratchet: I mean, when do you want to go home.

Clank: I don't know. Maybe when we get tired of it?

Ratchet: Ok.

Ratchet got dressed out of his bunny pajamas, (which by the way made Clank feel a little awkward) and the two decided to go fishing.

Clank: Why are we going fishing?

Ratchet: Oh, um, because it would be a new experience. I've never gone fishing before.

The two went to the lake, where the fish were abundant. However, the fact that Ratchet had never gone fishing really showed, because he apparantly didn't know what the hell he was doing. He almost casted wrong, never getting the line out in the water, and eventually got so mad he tried to cast it so hard that he threw it out into the lake.

Rahcet: Damn it! Oh well, that's not why I came out here.

Clank: What do you mean?

As if on cue, Sasha came running out onto the deck.

Ratchet: I see you got my call.

Clank: Call?

Sasha: At midnight, but I don't care. I haven't seen you in such a while.

At this moment Ratchet and Sasha made out for a good five minutes, adding plenty of good sound effects. Then they finally finished.

Clank: (quite calmly) Am I going to have to get a seperate tent for you two?

The two looked at each other.

Ratchet: I don't know. Maybe you might!

And the two laughed. Clank just shook his head. They decided to leave. They started walking back to the campground.

Ratchet: How come I haven't seen you in such a long time?

Sasha: Oh, official matters at the Phoenix. Some weapons we had to test and decided to approve them or not.

Ratchet: What were they:

Sasha: I'm not supposed to tell, but I'll tell you if you don't tell anyone.

Ratchet: I promise.

Sasha: Well, it's a teleport ray. You shoot it at someone, and think where they want to go, and they go there.

Ratchet: Gee, I hope you turned it down, that thing could be deadly.

Sasha: I know. We did.

They were silent as they reached the campground. Dusk was settling. Unlike last night, it was a beautiful, starry night. They made a fire and roasted hot dogs. As to be expected, Ratchet and Sasha got romantic about each other.

Ratchet: You look so beautiful by the firelight. (sighs dreamily)

Sasha: As do you. (sighs wearily as well)

Clank: Here we go...

Ratchet and Sasha did romantic things all night by the fire, such as leaning up against each other by the fire and talking dreamily about each other. This made Clank a little awkward, but thankfully for him, they didn't make out at all. eventually it got late, and they put the fire out.

Ratchet: Are you staying over with us?

Clank groaned.

Sasha: I guess I have to.

Ratchet: Great! Now I wish I would've gotten that extra tent...

Ratchet and Sasha laguhed. Clank groaned again. They got in the tent and went to bed. Clank was grateful he could turn off his hearing abilities so he wouldn't have to hear Ratchet and Sasha go off about each other. But they didn't. They simple went to sleep.

Ratchet: Good night, Sasha,

Sahsa: Good night, Ratchet.

And the two fell asleep in each others' arms.

Why didn't ratchet and Sasha have sex? Will they get that seperate tent? What romantic things will they do tomorrow? Find out in the next chapter!


	5. Rescue

Chapter 5:

Clank woke up the next morning before anyone else. To his dismay, he saw Ratchet and Sasha making out again.

Clank: Uh, isn't that enough?

But they didn't answer. Apparantly they were making out while asleep.

Clank just smiled and shook his head. Suddenly, they woke up. Ratchet tried to yawn but he was still making out with Sasha.

Ratchet: I'm sorry!

Sasha: No don't be. We must've made out while we were sleeping.

Ratchet: Wow, I wonder how that could happen. Maybe I'm just always thinking of you. (Sighs dreamily)

Clank: Here we go again...

For obvious reasons, Ratchet hadn't worn his bunny pajamas. He had just worn some boxers and a shirt. This was a relief to Clank. Ratchet and Sasha got dressed, and they decided to go eat breakfast. There was a diner in the local town. They ordered their food, and talked while they waited for it.

Ratchet: I've got to ask you an honest question.

Sasha: What?

Ratchet: What do you think of Clank?

Sasha: Well, I guess he's pretty cool. He's pretty smart. and he's got that awesome TV show.

Ratchet: Oh god, not you too!

Sasha just laughed.

Their food came. They fed each other romantically, seeing this on TV on that A1 steak sauce commercial, so they thought it was romantic. They got strange looks from the other eaters, but they were too caught up in each other to care.

Ratchet: I love you. Sasha.

Sasha: I love you too Ratchet.

The two walked out of the diner with their hands around each others' shoulders. It was important to them to be with each other. That's all that mattered to them right now. It was really a moment of true love. However, they were so caught up with each other that they didn't pay attention to anything else. Instead of walking back to the campsite, they had walked out to the deck of the lake, and they fell in the water.

Ratchet and Sasha: Ah!

Ratchet climbed out onto the deck, sputtering. He expected Sasha to come out, but she didn't

Sahsa: I can't swim!

Ratchet: What? You're the head of a starship?

Sahsa: Is this the time, Ratchet?

Now, if they had fallen of the bank of the river, they would've been fine, since it was shallower. But the deck was bu the deep water. Ratchet jumped in the water and got Sasha with one arm, and pulled her onto the deck. He gave her mouth-to-mouth respiration.

Ratchet: Whew, she's going to be fine.

Sddenly, Sasha grabbed Ratchet and started making out with him for the third time in the last 24 hours. Ratchet just went along. Then they went back to the campsite.

Clank: What happened to you two?

They looked at each other.

Sasha: Oh, we just went a little skinny dipping.

Ratchet and Sasha laughed.

The gang decided they had had enough camping, and they decided to go home. They packed everything up, and were about to leave.

Sahsa: I brought my own spaceship, so I can't go with you guys. I wish I could, though.

Ratchet: I wish you could too. DOn't worry, we'll see each other again. We have an extra tent at home. (Winks)

Sasha laughed.

Ratchet: Bye, Sahsa.

Sasha: Bye, Ratchet.

The two went home.

At home, they were relieved to be with all their cool stuff. The camping had done them well.

Ratchet: Well, I'd say that was refreshing.

Clank: Yes it was. Only the way you acted with Sasha, I'm glad I have my own room.

Ratchet just laughed.

A/N So that's the end. What did you guys think?


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